Archive for the ‘ Personal ’ Category

Manage your personal life

You can do everything right at work and manage yourself well there, but if your personal life is a mess, it will eventually turn everything else sour. What would it profit a leader to climb to the top of the organizational chart but lose a marriage or alienate the children? As someone who spent many years counseling people, I can tell you, no career success is worth it.

For years one of my definitions of success has been this: having those closest to me love and respect me the most. That is what is most important. I want the love and respect of my future wife, my children, and my grandchildren before I want the respect of anyone I work with. Don’t get me wrong. I want the people who work with me to respect me too, but not at the expense of my family. If I blow managing my self at home, then the negative impact will spill over into every area of my life, including work.

If you want to lead up, you must always lead yourself first. If you can’t, you have no credibility. I’ve found the following to be true:

* If I can’t lead myself, others won’t follow me.
* If I can’t lead myself, others won’t respect me.
* If I can’t lead myself, others won’t partner with me.

That applies whether the influence you desire to exert is on the people above you, beside you, or below you. The better you are at making sure you’re doing what you should be doing, the better chance you have for making an impact on others.

How well are you leading yourself?

Positive thinking is the most recommended

Positive thinking is not an easy thing to get like a raindrop from the sky. It is believed that it needs effort and skills to be able to achieve it. By start thinking positive you will place you self in a position that will allow you not only to manage your life better but it will also help you to raise your self-esteem and self-confidence.

What we think will affect to our behaviors actually our emotions, and our moods. So it is recommended to avail yourself with a positive space of thinking.

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A moment of following to your self-esteem

Have you ever noticed that yourself  lack of somethings, do something not right, admit that you are a good student or hate yourself because of doing some mistakes? I do usually feel this way of thought too. Just spending some hours through the internet, I can get through to some ideas regarding to these above problems. It is called “Self-esteem” which means you, yourself, is important or unimportant as well as respectful or not being respectful.

Low self-esteem

Self-esteem is important in some ways but it can cause you in some reasons if it is lower than its normal. You may feel not good whenever you act any action. Let see below about what are the causes.

Self-hate: is characterised by feelings of anger and frustration about who you are and an inability to forgive yourself for even the smallest of mistakes. For example, I personally took an English exam for applying a scholarship. Whenever I took the efficiency exam, I never got a high score to reach the requirement. I feel hatred to myself. Why does my knowledge and capability is too slow and low like that?

Some people may talk out that Perfectionism make them more challenge and push them to

Wanna be very perfect?

be more competitive and try something new. It would be right or wrong; however, to me I thought that perfectionist is someone who lives with a constant sense of failure because their achievements, no matter how impressive, don’t ever feel quite good enough. I would say the drive to be perfect is one of the more destructive aspects of low self-esteem. What do you think? Maybe sometimes it is right or sometimes not!

Comparing yourself especially about your body or appearance to other people can lead to have an esteem to self-thought that you are not handsome or beautiful as people around you. This can lead to have a low self-esteem too.

Although I have mentioned a lot about bad effects and causes of having self-esteem lower above, I would say that possessing a high one is not that bad too. It can give you a nice and strong courage in doing something new. It lets you respect yourself, even when you make mistakes.

Confident

Identify your mindset then!!!

You can fly!

Different people, Different mindsets!!! Totally agreed… Some people may do not know what is the type of their mindset is, me too. I just read a book called “You can fly” by Ismail Gafoor, I can note that there are simply 2 big kinds of mindset people are possessing now-Sarcastic and Abundant Mindset; which make people think differently on what they see and understand.

So now let’s go to find out yours; which between these 2 mindsets is yours! First let’s take a look at Sarcastic mindset-a bit pessimistic thought that an opportunity is so rare to happen because society around is too monopolized, so let’s immediately grab a chance. For example, people possessing sarcastic mindset always think that they have only one life, so don’t let it pass easily and fast.

 

Next is talking about Abundant mindset. It is about the optimistic mindset which lets people think that there are many chances in the world and they

Wait for next chance???

surely can grab those chance whenever they want. Like people waiting a bus, if they cannot catch a bus this time, sure they can get the next bus. Here is what such abundant mindset people they think of themselves.

There we go! See the differences? I can say that there is right or wrong mindset selected or mentioned; it is about the situation and context that people possessing those mindset in. Sometimes, if a real society is so sarcastic in opportunity, then I agreed that Sarcastic one is the best; however, if we are living i a freedom and full of opportunities, how come you limit and pressure yourself to hold that pessimistic thought dudes!!!

Can you now find out which one you possessing yet? I have a tip how you can identify it. Just simple simple strategy… Pay me a coffee then I will tell 😀

Preparing for a Career

“The right career is the career that you are happy with, or the career that you make yourself happy with.”

Career is probably the most important part of your life. It is the mechanism that supports you and your family for the rest of your life. Making a decision about career has to be well-informed.

How to prepare for your career?

Many Cambodian students currently cannot find right career after they graduated from university. This might be because they do not possess sufficient skills or experience that prepare them for future career. The article explains what skills you need for your career and how to gain those skills.

1.   What skills do you need for your career?

Skills can be classified into two types: content skills and soft skills. From most students’ perspectives, content skills, which are what you learn from class, are the most important thing. They believe good scores are the most important factor to get a good career. However, soft skills, skills that you learn outside class, are still as important.

1.1.   Content skills: are skills you can gain from your academic life in school or university.

For example, if you choose to study International Studies, your content skills are achieved through learning different subjects such as Political Science, ASEAN Studies or Regional Studies. Content skills are important but remember that many people end up having a job that is not related to their major. So you need to have other skills as well.

  • Soft skills: skills you can gain from your real work or practice as a result of social interaction with other people such as volunteering, doing an internship, and attending workshops. They are called soft skills because they can be applied in a lot of situations, not just workplace but also social situations. There are a lot of soft skills, and different employers look for different soft skills. However, commonly the most sought-after soft skills are Critical Thinking, Problem Solving, Leadership, Team Work, and Commitment
  • Critical Thinking: This is the ability to pinpoint good points and bad points of a certain issue. In a company, an employer wants a person who is able to tell them what might be wrong and how to make a project better instead of a YES person, who always says yes all the time. If you are given a project to do, you will be considered to be critical if you can tell what shortcomings are and how to compensate them. This cuts down the risk of failure.
  • Problem solving: If you can solve problems by yourself when running into problems, it will save a lot of your manager’s time. You need to have a right mentality for this. Every time you run into trouble, it is important to ask yourself first, not to look for your manager first. Just ask yourself “What would you do if you were the manager?
  • Leadership: Again, to achieve a bigger task, you need to know how to use people and how to assign them tasks to do. It is about what you

    Team

    want and how to get people to help you get what you want.

  • Team work: It is the ability to work cooperatively with different people from different backgrounds. Sometime you might be smart but you can’t work with others. Your being smart will lead you to nowhere because you are an obstruction, not a contribution to the team. Good team members ask themselves

    Work

    How should I react to bring the best result for my team? NOT how should I react if I hate this person? NOT what should I do if I want to advance my own interest? Good team members are result-oriented, not people-oriented. If you are people-oriented, you will find it hard to do things against the persons you like although you know that you might have a better idea. Equally, you will find it difficult to support the person you hate although his/her idea is right.

  • Commitment:Committed people bring result to a company because they keep going despite difficulties. Smart people sometimes do not produce results because they are quick to quit when facing problems. Committed people also produce a good culture in an organization; they inspire people to work hard and overcome short-term difficulties. If you lack commitment, ask yourself “If NOT me, who? If NOT now, when?”

 2.     How can you gain your desired skills?

Content skills are more or less easier to achieve than soft skills because they are taught at school while soft skills have to be picked up a long way of life. Having said that, you can gain these skills through the following ways:

Reflection: If you are aware of what you lack and what you want, you will find the opportunity to do so. If you simply put a question in your head, sooner or later you will find an answer. If you want to be a good team work, then every time you work with others you can ask What has gone wrong today? What has gone right? What could be done differently to make things better? By the end am I am happy with what I am doing? Why or Why not?

Mentoring: Find people who are interested in listening to you and who are interested in telling you stories and personal experience. These are people that can become your mentors. If you keep good relationship with them, you will benefit from their words. They can help you evaluate yourself, give you guidance, and find your passion. Try discussing different topics with mentors.

Volunteering: People are more open when volunteering and more tolerant towards mistakes. So you need to look for a volunteer job that you like and explore it. Don’t stick to one skill. If you used to work for a marketing team, you should next time try administration. It will give you a different perspective. The most important of all is to grab (if possible create) an opportunity to work with the person that you like and admire. You will be sure to learn a lot.

 

Win-Win is the best choice?

Which one you prefer?

“Win-Lose, Lose-Win, Lose-Lose, and Win-Win” which one you always use in your negotiation? your conflict solving in both work and family? Before you answer it, let me define it for you first.

Win-Lose/Lose Win: known as distributive bargaining. It’s based on an attempt to divide up an amount of resources, resulting in a win-lose situation. When choosing this strategy, one takes on an adversarial or competitive view.The focus is on achieving immediate goals, with little or no regard for building future relationships.

Win-Win: outcomes occur when each side of a dispute feels they have won. Since both sides benefit from such a scenario, any resolutions to the conflict are likely to be accepted voluntarily. The process of integrative bargaining aims to achieve, through cooperation, win-win outcomes.

Lose-Lose: means that all parties end up being worse off. An example of this would be a budget-cutting negotiation in which all parties lose money. In some lose-lose situations, all parties understand that losses are unavoidable and that they will be evenly distributed. In such situations, lose-lose outcomes can be preferable to win-lose outcomes because the distribution is at least considered to be fair (Encyclopedia of Conflict Resolution).

By seeing above definition, I think you can identify which one you always use in your problem solving skill and also understand well what are the result of each strategy.

Sometimes, you may think Win-Win is the best but make sure that you understand your context clearly before you judge which strategy is suitable in what situation or context.

Remember! All strategies are beneficial for us if you can get the right situation.

Is s/he the one your prefer to be your Mr. Ms. Right?

Is s/he perfect for you?

Actually, to define the word Mr./Ms. Right is not an easy way as define where is Left and where is Right side. I found out that some people get upset because they cannot find the right people for living with them forever. “I am looking forwards to see my Mr. Right not Mr. Wrongs!” said by a little girl, Ponika on Facebook social network. I totally agreed with what she said too since I am also looking for my Ms. Right. Just an easy definition [<Mr./Ms. Right is the perfect person you think you can be together with forever>by myself, Monycheat Hang (Karl)]and is it right to just sitting and waiting for your Mr./Mr. Right to appear and select you?

What does the perfectness of the person mean to you?

There is no fixed meaning of this word “Perfect person” and it is totally hard to make it fixed too. Some mentioned about Beauty, Wealthy, High education, Health, and other factors, but to my personal thought, we can define easily if you can set up your own criteria to identify how level is the perfectness you need. For example, if you think that your perfect person needs to be a millionaire, OK go for it! Just find the one who are rich, has millions dollars in bank account, has more than 10 Lamborghini, or else. Do not go for person who are beautiful/handsome or possess high education but poor. If you do so, DANG!!! it can help you define the kind of person easily and well.

Is it right to wait for your Mr./Ms. Right?

“Why do we have to wait? Instead of waiting to be chosen, why can’t we go out to find the right person? Why don’t most of us prefer to be in a position of the chooser than the chosen?” by Mr. Tep Livina and I am totally agreed with these questions! It is not the way to just sit and wait to see that guy/girl.

It’s said that learning is a process, not a destination. Personally, I find that relationship is also a process. This implies that one’s got to make some mistakes while staying in the process. Some people are lucky that they make or meet with few mistakes, but some aren’t because they make countless mistakes before they can find the right answer.

Last but not least, it is a hard to define and find who is your Mr./Ms. Right and whether s/he is your perfect person or not unless you set your criteria to select and identify that person. Also, it is recommended to be a choser not chosen and just sit and wait for that person. Go for him/her and learn from each other is s/he hit your criteria yet.

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