Archive for the ‘ Personal Development ’ Category

A moment of following to your self-esteem

Have you ever noticed that yourself  lack of somethings, do something not right, admit that you are a good student or hate yourself because of doing some mistakes? I do usually feel this way of thought too. Just spending some hours through the internet, I can get through to some ideas regarding to these above problems. It is called “Self-esteem” which means you, yourself, is important or unimportant as well as respectful or not being respectful.

Low self-esteem

Self-esteem is important in some ways but it can cause you in some reasons if it is lower than its normal. You may feel not good whenever you act any action. Let see below about what are the causes.

Self-hate: is characterised by feelings of anger and frustration about who you are and an inability to forgive yourself for even the smallest of mistakes. For example, I personally took an English exam for applying a scholarship. Whenever I took the efficiency exam, I never got a high score to reach the requirement. I feel hatred to myself. Why does my knowledge and capability is too slow and low like that?

Some people may talk out that Perfectionism make them more challenge and push them to

Wanna be very perfect?

be more competitive and try something new. It would be right or wrong; however, to me I thought that perfectionist is someone who lives with a constant sense of failure because their achievements, no matter how impressive, don’t ever feel quite good enough. I would say the drive to be perfect is one of the more destructive aspects of low self-esteem. What do you think? Maybe sometimes it is right or sometimes not!

Comparing yourself especially about your body or appearance to other people can lead to have an esteem to self-thought that you are not handsome or beautiful as people around you. This can lead to have a low self-esteem too.

Although I have mentioned a lot about bad effects and causes of having self-esteem lower above, I would say that possessing a high one is not that bad too. It can give you a nice and strong courage in doing something new. It lets you respect yourself, even when you make mistakes.

Confident

Love? Make Easy-Keep Hard

Before we come up into the right real situation, lemme share you with a good story I got from yahoo question and answer site as in the following:

A student asked his teacher, “What is love?”

The teacher said, “to get an answer to your question, go to the wheat field, get the biggest wheat grain, and come back, but the rule is – you can go through the field only once and cannot turn back to pick.”

The student went to the field, gone through the first row, and saw one big wheat grain. But he wondered….may be there is a bigger one elsewhere.
Then he saw a bigger one. But may be there is a still bigger one waiting….
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he realized that the wheat grains there are not as big as the previous one. He realized that he has missed the biggest one.

So, he ended up the search and went back empty hand. The teacher told him, “That is love! If you keep looking for a better one, you could have missed the right person!”

“Then, what is marriage?” the student asked.

A lot but hard to select

The teacher said, “to get an answer to your question, go to the same wheat field again, and get the biggest corn. Same rule as before!”

The student went to the corn field. This time he is very careful not to repeat the previous mistake. When he reached the middle of the field, he picked one good sized corn. He felt satisfied, and came back.

The teacher told him, “You have looked for one that is just good for you, instead of coming back empty handed. That is marriage!”

“What is Friendship then?” the student asked.

The teacher said, “in order to answer that question, go to the same field and choose the wheat that appears nice to you. The rule is the same.”

The student went to the field. This time he is very careful. As he started scanning the field, he has picked many grains that suited his taste and come back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, “You looked for one that is just nice for you, and did not look for the best. That is Friendship”.

I think all the answers which the teacher shared to students are hitting the points you want to know already, but our main point is that we know what is Love already but why we still come up with question why it is very easy to make it but so hard to keep it for last long?

Agreed to word says people’s emotion is not stayed-still and also changed! People always compare their partner with other people as in the story the student did not pick the first grain because one thought that there would be another bigger and better than the first or second one. One changed and came back with nothing. In reality is also not totally different. If you think you have many choices and always try new and new things, you one day will face up to such case.

Surely, finding the person you can go the distance with isn’t so easy. Maybe one of the reasons you find it hard to keep that love alive is because you aren’t choosing the right partner.

The truth is you can’t stay in love with the wrong person no matter what you do. And you can’t stay in a relationship when you aren’t ready to be in one.

Are you ready?

I know it is hardly to talk about love and relationship, but my suggestion is that if you are not ready, please don’t make it because it will affect badly to your everything around you; however, if you are done and well prepared, go for it! Make sure your love one is the right one for you and please avoid comparing with other people mates!!!

Identify your mindset then!!!

You can fly!

Different people, Different mindsets!!! Totally agreed… Some people may do not know what is the type of their mindset is, me too. I just read a book called “You can fly” by Ismail Gafoor, I can note that there are simply 2 big kinds of mindset people are possessing now-Sarcastic and Abundant Mindset; which make people think differently on what they see and understand.

So now let’s go to find out yours; which between these 2 mindsets is yours! First let’s take a look at Sarcastic mindset-a bit pessimistic thought that an opportunity is so rare to happen because society around is too monopolized, so let’s immediately grab a chance. For example, people possessing sarcastic mindset always think that they have only one life, so don’t let it pass easily and fast.

 

Next is talking about Abundant mindset. It is about the optimistic mindset which lets people think that there are many chances in the world and they

Wait for next chance???

surely can grab those chance whenever they want. Like people waiting a bus, if they cannot catch a bus this time, sure they can get the next bus. Here is what such abundant mindset people they think of themselves.

There we go! See the differences? I can say that there is right or wrong mindset selected or mentioned; it is about the situation and context that people possessing those mindset in. Sometimes, if a real society is so sarcastic in opportunity, then I agreed that Sarcastic one is the best; however, if we are living i a freedom and full of opportunities, how come you limit and pressure yourself to hold that pessimistic thought dudes!!!

Can you now find out which one you possessing yet? I have a tip how you can identify it. Just simple simple strategy… Pay me a coffee then I will tell 😀

Preparing for a Career

“The right career is the career that you are happy with, or the career that you make yourself happy with.”

Career is probably the most important part of your life. It is the mechanism that supports you and your family for the rest of your life. Making a decision about career has to be well-informed.

How to prepare for your career?

Many Cambodian students currently cannot find right career after they graduated from university. This might be because they do not possess sufficient skills or experience that prepare them for future career. The article explains what skills you need for your career and how to gain those skills.

1.   What skills do you need for your career?

Skills can be classified into two types: content skills and soft skills. From most students’ perspectives, content skills, which are what you learn from class, are the most important thing. They believe good scores are the most important factor to get a good career. However, soft skills, skills that you learn outside class, are still as important.

1.1.   Content skills: are skills you can gain from your academic life in school or university.

For example, if you choose to study International Studies, your content skills are achieved through learning different subjects such as Political Science, ASEAN Studies or Regional Studies. Content skills are important but remember that many people end up having a job that is not related to their major. So you need to have other skills as well.

  • Soft skills: skills you can gain from your real work or practice as a result of social interaction with other people such as volunteering, doing an internship, and attending workshops. They are called soft skills because they can be applied in a lot of situations, not just workplace but also social situations. There are a lot of soft skills, and different employers look for different soft skills. However, commonly the most sought-after soft skills are Critical Thinking, Problem Solving, Leadership, Team Work, and Commitment
  • Critical Thinking: This is the ability to pinpoint good points and bad points of a certain issue. In a company, an employer wants a person who is able to tell them what might be wrong and how to make a project better instead of a YES person, who always says yes all the time. If you are given a project to do, you will be considered to be critical if you can tell what shortcomings are and how to compensate them. This cuts down the risk of failure.
  • Problem solving: If you can solve problems by yourself when running into problems, it will save a lot of your manager’s time. You need to have a right mentality for this. Every time you run into trouble, it is important to ask yourself first, not to look for your manager first. Just ask yourself “What would you do if you were the manager?
  • Leadership: Again, to achieve a bigger task, you need to know how to use people and how to assign them tasks to do. It is about what you

    Team

    want and how to get people to help you get what you want.

  • Team work: It is the ability to work cooperatively with different people from different backgrounds. Sometime you might be smart but you can’t work with others. Your being smart will lead you to nowhere because you are an obstruction, not a contribution to the team. Good team members ask themselves

    Work

    How should I react to bring the best result for my team? NOT how should I react if I hate this person? NOT what should I do if I want to advance my own interest? Good team members are result-oriented, not people-oriented. If you are people-oriented, you will find it hard to do things against the persons you like although you know that you might have a better idea. Equally, you will find it difficult to support the person you hate although his/her idea is right.

  • Commitment:Committed people bring result to a company because they keep going despite difficulties. Smart people sometimes do not produce results because they are quick to quit when facing problems. Committed people also produce a good culture in an organization; they inspire people to work hard and overcome short-term difficulties. If you lack commitment, ask yourself “If NOT me, who? If NOT now, when?”

 2.     How can you gain your desired skills?

Content skills are more or less easier to achieve than soft skills because they are taught at school while soft skills have to be picked up a long way of life. Having said that, you can gain these skills through the following ways:

Reflection: If you are aware of what you lack and what you want, you will find the opportunity to do so. If you simply put a question in your head, sooner or later you will find an answer. If you want to be a good team work, then every time you work with others you can ask What has gone wrong today? What has gone right? What could be done differently to make things better? By the end am I am happy with what I am doing? Why or Why not?

Mentoring: Find people who are interested in listening to you and who are interested in telling you stories and personal experience. These are people that can become your mentors. If you keep good relationship with them, you will benefit from their words. They can help you evaluate yourself, give you guidance, and find your passion. Try discussing different topics with mentors.

Volunteering: People are more open when volunteering and more tolerant towards mistakes. So you need to look for a volunteer job that you like and explore it. Don’t stick to one skill. If you used to work for a marketing team, you should next time try administration. It will give you a different perspective. The most important of all is to grab (if possible create) an opportunity to work with the person that you like and admire. You will be sure to learn a lot.

 

Win-Win is the best choice?

Which one you prefer?

“Win-Lose, Lose-Win, Lose-Lose, and Win-Win” which one you always use in your negotiation? your conflict solving in both work and family? Before you answer it, let me define it for you first.

Win-Lose/Lose Win: known as distributive bargaining. It’s based on an attempt to divide up an amount of resources, resulting in a win-lose situation. When choosing this strategy, one takes on an adversarial or competitive view.The focus is on achieving immediate goals, with little or no regard for building future relationships.

Win-Win: outcomes occur when each side of a dispute feels they have won. Since both sides benefit from such a scenario, any resolutions to the conflict are likely to be accepted voluntarily. The process of integrative bargaining aims to achieve, through cooperation, win-win outcomes.

Lose-Lose: means that all parties end up being worse off. An example of this would be a budget-cutting negotiation in which all parties lose money. In some lose-lose situations, all parties understand that losses are unavoidable and that they will be evenly distributed. In such situations, lose-lose outcomes can be preferable to win-lose outcomes because the distribution is at least considered to be fair (Encyclopedia of Conflict Resolution).

By seeing above definition, I think you can identify which one you always use in your problem solving skill and also understand well what are the result of each strategy.

Sometimes, you may think Win-Win is the best but make sure that you understand your context clearly before you judge which strategy is suitable in what situation or context.

Remember! All strategies are beneficial for us if you can get the right situation.

Working procrastinatively?

No more procrastination…

You have it? Yes I have it. It is the situation which you avoid doing something you don’t want to do but need to be done (ehow.com). I can say I can escape from procrastination but at least I know how to by my readings and now here we go:

1. Set a realistic goals: you may feel having too much work or overwhelmed with many things that need to be done. Simply, just give yourself some times to break your work into small tasks. I mean we can start to do a check-list or to-do list.

2. No one is perfect, so start doing your work with your passion to do. Remember that do it as much and good as possible and make sure that it is all of your best. For instant, if you write a letter, it is logic that you cannot perfectly present all of your good points by that paper. Just make it interesting and attractive.

3. Value your time more: think effectively how to spend your time by not wasting it. Moreover, you will find it take less time to finish the task than it does to worry about how to finish it.Spent time effectively and don’t waste it…

4. Get a work buddy is a good idea! (I am finding a few too). Your friends can keep you on track to your tasks and work. Just spend time with them to sit and discuss about the progress of work… Let see how it will be effective…

Note:Check if it works or not. If yes, ok go:

– Reward yourself regularly if the job is done-this will encourage you on more goals

If No, go:

– Ask for help from your friends or parents. They can follow you at anytime you lose in working or procrastination…

 

What is volunteerism?

I volunteer to do it!

It is a quest to find a meaning of my life. I do it for myself. Your meaning must be defined by you and within you. It might be the only place that you don’t have to wear a mask as compared to working in a company.

How does it help change you as a person?

It helps me expand my horizon by exploring different areas of work and knowing more characteristics of people.

Why should we volunteer?

It helps you explore areas that you have not had a chance to do so or it might involve a higher risk at other places. Again, it is a meaning of ‘Why should I live?’

How to inspire other to volunteers?

Do what you want others to do.

What youth can do to help out the community?

Simply be part of a solution. If there is a problem, you can only complaint if complaint helps solve the problem. Otherwise, complaining is part of problem. Youth needs to get things fixed up.

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